He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
