Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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