I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
