I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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