Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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