All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
