it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Even my vagina gasped.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
