We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I fill condoms, not promises.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
