Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
