i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
