Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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