So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
