Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize