i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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