please come you make the beer taste better
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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