When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
