oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize
