Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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