I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you win again, gameday.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize