I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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