Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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