i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize