Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
