I just made out with a guy for $7.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize