oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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