I seem to have left my pride at pride
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
