I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
