Redeem this text for a blowjob
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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