Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
