i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
