Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize