Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My vagina is officially offended.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize