She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
