Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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