i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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