so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
