I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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