I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Holy sore nipples Batman
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
