I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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