I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
