Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
