He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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