Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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