HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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