Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
