I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
