DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
