Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she peed on how many people?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
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