Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
