think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
