Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
