it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
