Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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