You're my little dorito
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
