we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
