God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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