Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
