Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
This girl is more easily done than said...
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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