Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
