dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
