bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
