I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
