i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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