Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize