I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
