just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
