There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
