she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
This baby is an asshole
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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