Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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