i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
